Why do we need to get used to being uncomfortable, if being comfortable is so appealing?
And if so... is there a way to make the discomfort more palatable?
I find that when we need to create something in our lives that looks far different from what it looks like now, then closing that gap feels like an uncomfortable jump.
Depending on the degree of discomfort it usually requires me to face the fear and "do it anyway'
Or...
Create a bridge/ ladder.
Building a bridge/ ladder is like wanting to drink more water and choosing to start with a spoonful more; making sure it's done every day and gradually increasing to a quarter cup, then half, then a full cup. Then also, extending from one time a day to two then three.
You get the plan?
Small but consistent actions leading to the ultimate goal.
Taking a jump would be like wanting to return to my naturally curly textured hair, after chemically straightening for a long time, and just cutting it all off to start over.
With the bridge/ ladder we can break up the seemingly insurmountable task of shifting identity with smaller stretch items. These actions will also be uncomfortable but much less so than moving all the way at once with a jump.
After doing these smaller activities each building on each other we will be moving ever closer to our target. The task of shifting will ultimately land us in our new way of behaviour but with a much smoother transition.
Repeating this process over multiple hard to access goals can allow us to develop a system that we can move through with increasing efficiency. Gradually reducing the time to complete, until the process is effortless.
Why?
Because we have accumulated the evidence that it works for us over time.
Now when we are younger increasing our cortisol levels by taking the ultimate jump from one side to the other may be more easily overcome. But as we age and our bodies and cells are less adept at repair we can consider the bridge/ ladder approach to life altering events that will spike our cortisol levels and cause damage in our bodies.
That being said, advances in medicine have made it possible to make these moves at any age with more reversible repercussions. Also, access and advances in coaching and counselling have improved our ability to conquer these life changes and more, with greater flexibility.
We then need to consider how much time we are actually comfortable spending on these changes.
A jump is usually faster.
Creating a bridge/ ladder allows a step wise, albeit slower, way of crossing to the other side.
These are factors to consider when we approach the action of change.
For me, if I am procrastinating or I have a strong suspicion that I will do so, I will use a bridge/ ladder approach and build the consistency that I require to move faster.
Otherwise, I will more likely leap/ jump to the change. Sometimes knowing that there will be a few bumps and bruises but accepting that it comes with that journey.
This is just how my brain has worked it out.
How about you?
Which would you use for the next change action you have planned?