I feel like its easier to start over from a place where we are flat on our butt.
Where everyone doubts us or it feels like they have given up on us...
When I decided to sell my car, that I had bought brand new. To retire the car loan and be able to save some money. It felt like I was accepting defeat.
Because when we have higher expectations from others, we start to accept their expectations of ourselves when our journey is starting over. Or we are making drastic changes. Which mean the old rules don't apply.
In my case, in this situation, I was choosing to downsize my car. To a used version that was also smaller than the car I was selling. This felt like a step down and like a teenage girl being pregnant I couldn't hide the results. They were obvious.
To borrow a term from Sarah Jakes Roberts, we are more likely to look ''raggedy" when starting over.
If we are already in a beat down state its all good coming up. Any thing is better than staying there.
But when we are already standing on something and that something needs to shift, we start to look disheveled or ugly. All because we are starting new and even worse, we don't yet know what we are doing.
Its a self esteem nose-dive that we hope to come back from.
It feels hard.
For me it was. It felt awful, but it seemed the fastest way to reset my budget without losing my sanity. In fact, that was the choice I made; my ego or my sanity. Ego lost, but it took some of my self esteem with it.
So now I'm wondering, can we start a blank page without the 'nose dive' part? Or at least with the minimum amount of nose dive?
I'm starting to feel like unless we are still young in age, when expectations from others and ourselves is less, then we are going to need to develop a 'Thick face, Black heart' way of behaving to succeed with minimal internal unease.
(Think Face Black Heart: The Warrior Philosophy of Conquering the Challenges of Business and Life; is the name of a book by author Chin-Ning Chu)
In essence, it would be leading us to contemplate our desire as important to us and determine that we shall arrive at it without losing ourselves or being crushed by another or crushing another, except in absolute defense.
If this doesn't suit us, then we shall decide to endure whatever we encounter if we fully commit to changing our lives.
This decision on it's own, has a lot of power in it as it frees us to focus on moving ever forward toward our goal irrelevant of circumstance.
I am still not clear on which way works for best for me.
But I ask the question of all y'all...
Outside of leaving your physical location, how would you start over from scratch?
If you've done it before please, let's hear it...