While cleaning my bathroom a thought found it's way into my mind and stayed there. This thought was that there are times when surrender masquerades as resilience.
Imma explain in a minute.
When my son was close to turning three years old, I became determined to have him potty-trained to return to preschool. This was just after a full year of having done virtual school during the global pandemic of COVID 19.
In any event, I realized this decision to have him fully potty-trained would entail lots of cleaning up on our part as caregivers and I remembered feeling mentally and emotionally prepared for that. I had made peace with that possibility. So when it came time to clean up, multiple times a day, I was okay with it.
This is like surrender to me. I made peace with the situation and dealt with it.
Sure... I had a definite aim in mind
But I was so willing to endure whatever was needed in order to get to the goal.
And now I sit here wondering (a favorite pass time) what makes this type of surrender so different from the type where I feel dragged to it?
Fear?
Acceptance?
Definiteness of purpose?
These possibilities represent the difference between when surrender feels right and when it feels stressful.
So how can I get from fear and stress to acceptance and rightness, faster?
I want to say... AWARENESS
And I think this is a useful tool in these situations to build a bridge.
But some pieces feel missing.
Because even when I am aware and accept where I am, or feel I do.
Surrender still feels hard and takes a lot of time.
I think, being aware and then setting smaller definite milestones is a great way to approach it.
A lot of work has been done around chunking down a task to make it more manageable and this is great. It works, but it takes time.
And what happens to me is that I don't have a chunk down process.
I will work on that to create a system that can move me through faster and faster each time.
What about you?
Have you realized a connection in the different ways surrender may show up for you?
And can you determine a short cut of surrender after your discovery?