So this happened…
You invited me to meet with you
And at first I was excited.
The opportunity felt too good to be true
And then fear stepped in to remind me that I wasn’t worthy,
So I should stop pretending I was.
For a moment excitement changed to anxiety.
And I started to back away but I’ve worked through some things
And that work came in to save me.
It told me…
It was ok.
I was complete in my own way.
And so I had nothing lacking inside me.
With that I affirmed my place in the room.
A place I belonged just by breathing.
Now more calm than before I realized that fear was only there to remind me
Not of what I lacked but that I didn’t need to be there to confirm that I was a whole person.
Another promise I made would be broken if I were to accept the invitation.
So as interesting the option,
I would not negotiate the reputation I was building with myself.
Grateful as I was for the possibility that was offered
I have to decline the invitation.
With a sigh of relief, I accepted my decision.
The lesson that was learnt in the process to make this decision as worth the angst experienced.
The sequence that was triggered helped me to trust myself more
So at the end of the day I am worthy enough to say,
”Yes” and also to say, “No” with less questions.