Intention
Attention
No tension”
I feel Marci Sminoff, repeating the words to me. I repeat them to myself and then recognize that my most pressing issue of the three mentioned is “No Tension”.
“No tension” refers to letting go of the outcome aka: Surrender.
This simple detail is usually what I forget to do to get to the next level when working on my goals.
Let me tell you, I can find several reasons in my own life why surrender is important to achieving goals with ease.
For instance;
When I was pregnant and went into labor, it really was my inability to surrender to what was happening at the time that led to a C-section delivery.
At least this is what I now believe.
You see, all the regular things happened as they should leading up to this delivery, except I was not mentally prepared and so I was getting wound up.
I just kept getting more and more anxious as the time went by and my baby, my son was being affected.
Therefore, the doctor made the decision to take the baby especially since I was not dilating at all!
It was as though my mind was keeping my body imprisoned.
It was just recently (like within the last few days) that I was listening to Marci and getting worked up about a tomato plant I had transplanted, that the possibility presented itself to me.
I really have some trouble releasing the outcomes.
In fact, the more I think on things that I worked for and achieved, they came effortlessly AFTER and only after I let go and stop checking in, wondering when and worrying when I did not see what I wanted to happen, happening.
Think back to a time when you wanted to achieve something?
Do you remember how you were feeling at the time?
Was it easy or challenging?
What was different for those things that were easy and those that seemed harder?
Notice any connections?
I will be the one to admit that I do not surrender willingly in most cases. But, now that I am testing this theory, I am more willing to take time to bring awareness to situations that seem really challenging and assess whether I have been in fact holding on to what I expect instead of doing the work and letting the results…happen.
Of course, I would need to actually believe that the outcome is possible for that to be the case,
But…
That is for another conversation.
How many books have you read by people you hold as successful that have cited ‘surrender’ as a key ingredient?
I can tell you, I have heard it from Maya Angelou, Oprah Winfrey, Lisa Nichols, Dale Carnegie… the list goes on and on.
Why then have I been reluctant to do the very thing they profess?
I’m not sure.
I mean I have started noticing the difference recently in that when I wanted something really badly it was after I let go that I was able to get to it and really quick. But I suppose I was not sure I could control it happening.
Besides,
I go into anxiety mode so fast now with decades of practice that I was blind to any other possibility.
Ok… so…
First:
I need to notice the thoughts and feelings of stress/ anxiety
Next:
I need to deep breathe, meditate, repeat a mantra/ affirmation, or anything else to calm down.
Then:
Reframe; what else is possible? Something possible and believable to me. For example; when someone cuts me off in traffic instead of getting mad and telling myself a story of how bad this person is I could think instead; “maybe they have an emergency “ or “they are late for a special occasion”.
This is the experiment I am executing to help me to gently let go of what’s happening and move on.
How are you at surrendering?
Do you do anything to help you to handle it?
I think like ever thing else that is worth learning it takes time and practice. And being happy and increasing my joy is worth every lesson and challenging moment.
So, help me stay disciplined and remind me to let go.
As I remind you to do the same.